Different kinds of poker players

Damn. I forgot to mention the table selection criteria. Here's my method. I enter the lobby, and find the games that my bankroll barely allows me to play in. Then I close my eyes, move the mouse around for a while, and enter the table that the pointer lands on. Now I'm left with a tougher decision. I have to decide what seat to take. If there's a hot female avatar in the game, I try to sit as close to her as possible. If not, I will have to use my good judgement as to what seat is the luckiest one at the table. It often helps to ask THE Fish that's been there for a while, because they have probably noticed where the lucky seat is.

Who are these Fish and Shark I've been telling you about? I divide poker players into three categories. Most players belong in the category "Fish". They tend to make sounder decisions than THE Sharks when it comes to starting hand requirements, but fail to play the hands optimally. I honestly think it's better to fold a quality hand like 72 offsuit preflop than to play it poorly. Only a real expert can enter a pot with this hand and make a huge profit from it, so THE Fish will either have to fold it or (preferrably) learn to play it aggressively enough to make a profit. Remember that you have to play tight AND aggressive to be a winning player.

THE Shark are one step above THE Fish in the food chain. They profit from THE Fish that think they can just limp in with 94 suited and see if they hit something. That's not the right way to play suited monsters. THE shark prefer to fold the monsters preflop, and play questionable holdings like high pairs, AK and the like. THE shark doesn't understand that these hands will often be beaten by players with unsuited, unconnected small cards. Because THE shark doesn't grasp the concept of suckout-odds, they are easy prey for the real experts.

The real poker experts are called THE Donkeys. THE Donkeys will raise preflop with 7-2 offsuit, flop a backdoor gutshot straight draw on a ten-high board and move all-in. Preferrably they will be up against some stupid shark that thinks his pocket queens or jacks are good and calls. THE Donkey knows that the suckout-odds makes a push on the flop the only right thing to do. If he doesn't hit the backdoor straight, he'll probably hit the backdoor trips or two pairs. That's why THE Donkey wins again and again. There are not many pots that THE Donkey doesn't win with this ingenious play. Luckily for us, it seems like THE Fish will never realize that they must play aggressively with these kinds of monster flops.

I'd love to teach you more, but right now I have a big game to play. See you all later.